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13 April 2023 (Thursday)
OP-ED/Satire
Taiwan Orgy at Kenting Music Festival
No One Cares About China
By Wendell Minnick (Whiskey Mike) 顏文德
TAIPEI - At the same time China launched the biggest military exercise in Taiwan’s history, the population was inundated with foreign and domestic news outlets screaming that China was ready to slam the island with an invasion force only comparable to Normandy, or so they say…
But at the same time the foreign media was swamping the MND press center with idiotic questions (what is a frigate?), no one seemed to notice the annual Kenting Music Festival in the remote coastal town in southwest Taiwan.
The annual “Spring Scream” festival is an orgy of drugs, sex, and rock & roll for Taiwan’s 20-somethings (actually the drinking age is 18 in Taiwan).
As Chinese naval vessels steamed past Kenting at night, many of the sailors must of wondered what the hell was going on in the distance as a laser light show interrupted the night sky and music blared across the waters.
Hopefully, the Chinese sailors were annoyed by the fuck you from the reefer mad youth at Kenting.
And for Chinese aircraft flying nearby at night there must have been bizarre questions on radio chatter whether the lasers were some sort of Taiwanese secret weapon.
To know the heartbreaking truth…well, Chinese-controlled media would never tell them.
Like the Grinch, waiting on top of Mount Crumpit with all the toys stolen from Whoville, there was only the Spring Scream. And unlike the Grinch, China’s shrunken heart did not grow three sizes larger.
That is because this is the Red Grinch and not the green one.
Only two things would survive a nuclear war in China: Cockroaches and Communist Party discipline.